Just Sarin

Man: Is this 911?
Police: Yes!
Man: Two girls are fighting over me!
Police: huh! What?...

Man: The ugly one is winning.... Hurry!!

RT @VanDiablo @PurpleParadox

Banta from Amritsar was visiting the UK for the first time, and had boarded a train from Paddington and was on his way to Cardiff to visit his sister and her family. In the train, sitting across from him, this rather stoic and proper looking Englishman in a pin-striped suit was engrossed in reading the morning's paper.

As the train rolled on, the Sardar was soon bored. Wanting to strike up a conversation he leaned over and asked the Englishman, 'Excuse me Sir, what is your name?'

Not very happy at this development, the Englishman nevertheless obliged and said, 'John Smith. And what is your name Sir?'

Banta replied, 'Banta Singh.

And where are you from Mr. Smith?'

'From Lancashire .

And you Mr. Singh?'

Making every effort to keep up with Mr. Smith, Banta replied, 'From Amritshire!'

This confused the hell out of Mr. Smith. He knew of Bedfordshire, Berkshire, Lincolnshire ,
Worcestersh, but Amritshire???

Eyebrows raised, he asked Banta, 'And on what longitude and latitude would Amritshire be Sir?'

Now it was Banta's turn to look all confused. But not willing to show his ignorance, and not knowing the meaning of these words, he replied in his new found accent ' Sir, You see, in Amritshire we only have BHENKITUDE and MAKITUDE..


/via BBM Gautam Arora

You can look at some people and instantly know they're only going to get two awards in life, a birth and a death certificate.

RT @idillionaire

Do you know why God created the gap between your Fingers?
Because one day a True Love wil come and fill those gaps by holding your hands forever..

Now dont ask me why god created the gap between legs. ;)

/via BBM Gautam Arora

All married men say after many years of marriage...

'Our marriage is based on trust & understanding...

She doesn't trust me and i don't understand her!!
;)

/Via BBM Garima

There are 3 things scary to see the following morning after you get drunk : 1. Own face 2. Wallet 3. List of outgoing calls

RT @raggedtag @anaggh

Your relationship with GOD is more important than anything, because you know for sure that's a relationship that will last forever.

RT @funnyorfact

Grammar is important! Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse and helping your Uncle jack off a horse.

RT @funnyorfact

Dear Blackberry,

Thanks for honoring Steve Jobs death with a 3 day silence.

Yours sincerely
Apple

/via BBM Garima

Twitter, Facebook & Foursquare are literally like parents, one wants to know what u r doing, other wants to know what u r thinking and third wants to know where you are!

Wife: Ye galat he ji..Aapne bola tha ki ap bina reason k nahi piyenge..

Husbd: Peene ka reasn h... Diwali aa ri h..aur Rocket chalane k liy
bottle chaiye.

/via BBM Deepak Khosla

The most terrifying question a woman can ask a man is: O_o

Notice anything different?

/via BBM Deepak Khosla

A gentle reminder of the consequences of fooling around with someone else's wife......
:
Happy Dussehera

This is something I expect to have to implement shortly:

"I have found the best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it."

-- Harry S. Truman

/via Vineet Taneja (FB)

Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, 'You're only interested in one thing' & you can't remember what it is ~Milton Berle RT @TaiyouSun @Sexybichoo

I don't need a wife. I have beer. It gives me heaven in night and hell the day after it. RT @_abhishk

If the doctor says you only have six months to live, get married immediately. This will make the six months seem like forever.

/via sms Garima Gupta