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Saturday, September 16, 2006

the perfect diet... 

too funny... if only my pet had dog food... i'd be in a position to
play this prank... alas, pepsi only eat's "man" food. :-P

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I have a Labrador retriever.

I was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart and was in line to check out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

On impulse, I told her that no, and that I was starting The Purina
Diet again. Although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the
hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in
an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices
and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way
that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and
simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is
nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by
now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall, black guy who was
behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog
food poisoned me.

I told her no; I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a
car hit me.

I thought the black guy was going to have to have help as he
laughingly staggered to the door.


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