Saturday, September 09, 2006
Stock Market Jargon
[1] BULL MARKET: A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
[2] BEAR MARKET: A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.
[3] VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.
[4] P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.
[5] BROKER -- What my broker has made me.
[6] STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.
[7] STOCK ANALYST! -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
[8] STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.
[9] MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.
[10] CASH FLOW -- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
[11] INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.
[12] MOMENTUM INVESTING - The fine art of buying high and selling low.
[13] INVESTOR - Sucker
[2] BEAR MARKET: A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.
[3] VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.
[4] P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.
[5] BROKER -- What my broker has made me.
[6] STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.
[7] STOCK ANALYST! -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
[8] STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.
[9] MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.
[10] CASH FLOW -- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
[11] INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.
[12] MOMENTUM INVESTING - The fine art of buying high and selling low.
[13] INVESTOR - Sucker
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